Caught between a rock and a hard place

Tag Noah @ Faith

It had been a long day. Not even the nice kind of long. If it would have resulted in something, it would have been okay to have to stay at the precinct until ten freaking thirty on a Tuesday night. Instead, the detective had been forced to fill in sheet after sheet of boring paperwork on her most recent arrest. Yes, a necessary evil. ”But that doesn’t mean I don’t loath it.”

She had taken the bus to work in the morning, assuming she would catch any of the many return journeys they would make during rush hour. But with that fly by hours ago, she was forced to either wait ages for the next opportunity, or walk. Seeing the cloudless night sky and feeling the crisp spring air, Genevieve decide she was going to use her time more efficiently and kill two birds with one stone. Cut out the waiting, and get rid off her foul mood by walking through a relatively deserted city. Her city.

Two blocks down from her own road, she spotted movement alongside an outer wall of a row of houses. Coming closer, she was able to discern sounds and shadows thrown by street lights. There was no way that much noise was made by an animal, nor that a ‘professional’ burglar – if anything like that existed – would be so sloppy. Not able to resist the urge to investigate, she veered off the pavement and inched closer, sneaking across a patch of grass.

Not making it a habit to carry a gun when off duty, she had to rely on her instincts for her own security. If all else fails, kick him in the nuts. It had been wise advice from her dad. Here goes nothing, she thought as she reached the edge of some shrubs and trees.

She called out to the apparent loneliness. ”Good evening! Vancouver police, please make yourself known.”

Things where good for Noah. His shift had ended on a high note. A very well deserved tip from a high paying customer. For a very thorough blowjob. With a grin on his lips the blond waiter had settled at the bar. "Just a few drinks before bed." he told the bartender, who simply smirked at Noah and served him. One drink turned into two. Then three and four. A handsome stranger at the bar begged for Noah's attention. And who was he to deny a man who supplied him with drinks? Only a fool. So more drinks where ordered. The customer was willing to pay Noah extra for his services, seeing as it was after hours. "How can I say no." So the two men walked out the door and disappeared into a back alley. While alley work really wasn't Noah's style, he'd happily oblige the man with the healthy wallet.

And now, about an hour later, Noah was finally on his way home. His ass was sore and his mouth was dry and as he stumbled his way home, he vowed to never drink again. Or at least for the next few days... Thankfully Noah was sober enough to go back into the club to clean himself up, before heading out again. God, can you imagine... waking up with cum stuck to your ass. A shudder fluttered across his back as he walked.

The night was cool and quiet. Just what Noah needed to sooth his headache. He had almost reached his block when nature called. In a big way. Oh shit. All the alcohol he'd consumed was threatening to spill. Glancing around to try and spot a street name. Where the fuck am I? The block looked familiar enough, but Noah couldn't spot the big oak that stood in front of the apartment complex. Shit. He grabbed his crotch in an attempt to stop the waterworks. But he knew it was pretty useless. Noah sighed and decided to give in. Glancing around again, this time for some trees. When nature calls... I answer. With a grin on his face and a tune in his head, Noah wandered into the bushes and hid behind a tree. There he dropped his pants and pulled down his boxers. "Here we go..."

A voice startled him. Vancouver police?! Ah shit... Noah had just finished his business and stumbled backwards, tripped over some low shrubs and fell down. Pants and boxers bunched up at his ankles. "Ouch!" the pointy end of a branch had scraped his bare ass. "Awesome..." he muttered as he tried to get up. But something had snagged his jeans and he was unable to move. "I ehm... am harmless... and drunk..." he muttered as he covered his junk with both hands and waited for the cop to show himself.

Sometimes, no matter how serious, scary or important a situation is, you can't help but laugh. Right at this moment, with her defensive stance and anxious to get home, Genevieve did just that. First she was baffled, unable to process the scene that was unfolding in front of her. When her brain caught up with her eyes, she just laughed. Standing at the edge of the vegetation, she could perfectly see the young man bathing in the light. She however, was hidden by the sheer nature of light. Standing between the subject and the source will render you invisible, especially to a drunk eye.

For a moment the police officer enjoyed the awkwardness of the situation. Having a brazen youth out in the semi open with his pants around his ankles, protecting his modesty with only his shaking hands and proclaiming he is drunk, it would be the running joke at the station tomorrow if she'd take him in.

And that was where it got tricky. The weight of the if. Neve had had a rough day, week even. A little fun couldn’t be a bad thing, right? Going out wasn't her thing and if she were to be home alone, she'd probably just drown herself in one of Alfred Kinsey's publications on sexual behaviour. No, fun was what she needed, and fun was what she would be getting.

”You seem to be having a little trouble with your balance.” The smirk on her face was unmistakably one of malicious delight. ”Need a hand with that, young man?”

Even in his drunken state, Noah had realized the cop was a woman. Her voice had drifted at him from behind the light. Noah exposed himself when he brought one hand up to his face to shield his eyes in an attempt to see her. "I ehm.. sorry, about this." a drunken chuckle escaped his lips. Surely, she'd realize he was harmless and everything would be peachy. "I've very sorry officer, ma'am..." he shifted, putting the hand to the solid cold ground and tried to push himself up. But nature was a vicious little thing. The branch that attacked his ass before, was at it again. "Ouch! Shit...sorry." Mind your manners, young man. his mother's voice rang in his ears, making Noah chuckle.

Noah now moved both his hands and pushed his torso up off the ground, into a sitting position. Before the branch could get another jab in, Noah grabbed it and tossed it aside. "Away, you..." another chuckle. Alcohol was making this situation a rather entertaining one, as far as Noah was concerned. The youth reached for his boxers and fumbled with the material. He grabbed it, tugged on it and almost send himself backwards into the dirt. Just then, her voice reached his ears. "Huh? What?" Noah recalled her saying something about help and balance.

He grinned at the woman behind the light. "A hand would be good, yeah..." he peered into the light. "God, that's bright." Noah rubbed his eyes and sighed, "Aren't you gonna lecture me on how alcohol is bad for you?" By now the man had completely forgotten about his naked ass and the wet soil underneath it. His focus was completely on the woman. "Would you step into the light so I can see you?"

Her amusement turned ever higher as the young man stumbled and fumbled, at moments apparently completely unaware of her presence. How much has he had? She wondered about that as she complied with the request and took a few steps forward.

”Lecture you? I don’t think there’s much point.” She cocked her head towards the greens and frowned. ”If those prickly things in your ass are not incentive enough, nothing I say will be either.”

She imagined a few thorns in her own ass and clenched her muscles at the thought. Starting to feel some kind of pity, alongside some well-deserved unholy glee, she took another step and extended her hand.

”Here, let’s get that naked ass of yours of the ground. You don’t want to get an infection or something.” As looks could deceive even the brightest of minds, the sturdy police officer had no trouble keeping her balance, even when the drunkard had a hard time keeping his.

By sheer will and a healthy dose of concentration, Noah managed to pull his feet underneath his body. "There..." he muttered to himself, as he was now in a crouching position. A little wobbly, but at least his ass was up off the ground. With a satisfied grin the youth looked up at the woman. She was now out of the light and Noah could attempt to make out part of her face. He peered at her, his blurry eyes slowly focusing on hers. "Hey." he said with a chuckle, "Finally I can see you.. sort of." All Noah could really see the fuzzy outlines of her face. Framed by a lot of long blond hair. Noah hummed. How he liked blond hair. Especially if it was long. So pretty. With a goofy grin he extended his hand to her. Hoping she'd grab it and save him the trouble of having to grab her hand.

Thankfully she took his hand and helped get him up. At her mention of an infection he winced. "We don't want that...I can't work if I get an infection... and if I can't work... I won't get paid. And HOLY FU..." he stared into her face and stopped himself from cursing. "Won't finish that word... but no pay would be bad. My landlord is sort of a hardass..." And deeply interested in my ass. Another shudder ran through his body. He lowered his eyes to his feet, where his boxers and pants where still pooled. Noah chuckled. I bet ya'll remember being down there earlier, right... With a silly grin his eyes followed the trail from his feet upwards and to his wonderful surprise, noticed his cock was half hard. Woah, didn't see that coming...alcohol has no hold on you, does it boy.

A wave of dizziness had Noah swaying on his feet. He laid one hand on the woman's shoulder to steady himself. "Sorry bout that." he said, raising his eyes to meet hers. Only now did he realize he was taller than she was. "You're gorgeous..." He was still slurring his words a little, even thou Noah felt himself sobering up -or at least, he thought he did-. Feeling brave, Noah leaned in and attempted to press his lips against hers.

It was quite hilarious, the way he just talked and talked, oblivious to the nakedness and the charges that she could take him in on. Public nudity and drunken behaviour being two of them, but over the course of these moments, options would most likely increase.

The bold young man fancied his chances as he made his feeble attempt at a kiss. But even through he wasn’t bad looking at all – and even in his state, he seemed to appreciate Neve’s body – she wasn’t inclined to lower her standards that much. ”Whoa there cowboy, let’s not go there.”

In a split second, she made up her mind. She might not have brought her gun, but a pair of cuffs always dangled off her chain before, during or after a shift. In one quick move, most likely way too quick for the guy to comprehend, she pushed against his shoulder hard with free arm while letting go of his hand with the other, pulling it towards her. His flailing arms weren’t hard to catch and pressed behind his back, they were easily subdued and cuffed.

”Let’s not embarrass yourself any more than you’ve already done, right?” She pressed her body against his in an attempt to improve his stability, which wasn’t much to speak of even before she started spinning him.
”So, what’s it gonna be, cowboy? Will you start behaving? Because this sure as hell is no way to treat a lady, wouldn’t you agree?”

In his dreamy drunken haze, Noah had closed his eyes and was fully expecting to feel her soft lips against hers. "Hmm baby..." he murmured softly. He brought his hands up to her side to hold onto her for support, or to caress. Noah wasn't sure. So soft... in his mind, her lips where on his and he was being really suave about it. But then reality struck. Hard. "Woah..." Noah staggered and fought to keep his balance as the blond woman maneuvered his arms behind his back. "Wha..." the unmistakable sound of handcuffs being shut, snapped Noah out of his daze. If only for a second. "Oh shit..." the youth muttered. His last experience with handcuffs ended in yet another sore ass and scrape marks on his wrists.

The woman meant business. "But I was being nice..." he muttered to himself. Then she spun him around to face her. Noah dropped his head, chin leaning against his chest. He took a deep breath and shook his head a little. "That wasn't smart..." as he stared at his feet, he realized his pants where still around his ankles. "Handcuffed and naked... awesome." he sighed with a chuckle. Somehow the whole situation was still mildly amusing to the drunken man.

"Embarrassing... yeah, that would cover this." he chuckled and raised his eyes to meet hers. "Not very polite... nope -- I am sorry thou, ma'am. I meant well..." he slowly shook his head and sighed again. Noah nodded in agreement when she said that this was no way to great a lady. His eyes fell down to his crotch, where he noticed his cock appeared to be having a ball. Hey, I'm hard. Having no filter, Noah brought his eyes up to hers. A cheeky grin on his face. "He likes you." He paused a moment, then frowned and hummed. "Shouldn't have said that... nope, rude..." he nodded and chuckled a little. "I don't suppose an apology is enough in this case, huh..."

The classy blonde couldn't make up her mind. Either she was baffled, or amused, or annoyed. Or just all three of them. Yep, all of the above. And even though it was very not ladylike to do so, she followed his gaze down and noticed her manly hood out and proud – or at least, halfway to full pride, which was quite an achievement being drunk and outside with a chilling wind caressing his naked skin.

He likes me…” With an incredulous look in her eyes, she sighed. ”I suppose I should feel proud now? That he likes me?” If truths were being told, she was actually quite pleased. Despite the alcohol and the cold, this strapping young lad, or af least his body, was showing obvious signed of attraction to her. Can’t have him know that, though. Who knows what he'll do.

”I'm half tempted to drag you over to the station right now. What time are we at? Must be closing in on eleven-thirty. You think many people are on their way back home from the clubs and pubs?” She grinned at the prospect of humiliating this guy in front of hundreds of strangers. That could be fun! But, officer Porter wasn’t one to break with the ‘Beyond the Call’ mantra for the Vancouver Police Department just for the sake of a good laugh. Lets see what he thinks about that first though, she thought. Let him sweat a little.

The blond nodded in agreement when Genevieve spoke. "He does... sorta... ya know... oh..." he babbled along with her, first happily but as she continued, a deep frown formed on Noah's face. "Proud? Well ehm... hmm yeah... I mean, nooo, not proud... " Stop talking Noah! he told himself. "Shutting up now..." he mumbled, flashing her a goofy drunk grin. He would've zipped up his mouth, if only his hand hadn't been cuffed behind his back. Nice going on that one...

A few moments of silence passed between them. Noah found his mind wandering. He glanced around casually, looking at the dark sky, the bushes around him and then back at her. Oh hey there. It was almost as if he'd forgotten she was there. "I think I'm blacking out here... or maybe spacing out... " Noah nodded as he wiggled his fingers, scratching an itch in the process.

Noah cocked his head to the side a little as she spoke next. His brow was in a frown as he nodded while listening. Noah pulled on his wrist as she wondered what time it was. Found himself unable to, so he shrugged. "I left my watch at home." As she continued he hummed. "I see your point..." he lifted his eyes to the road, now blissfully empty. Noah nodded again. "We could do that. But could you pull my pants up first." he grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. Oblivious to any hidden agenda or alternative reasons Genevieve might have.

Keeping her smile hidden was getting increasingly harder at the random babbling. She was having too much fun with this and clouds were gathering above their heads. Time to go.

"Okay then. Stay steady mister, don't fall over." The policewoman bent down her knees and grabbed the boxers and trousers that were draped around the young man's ankles. "Up, up and away we go sunshine."

She flexed her legs and stood up, but couldn't resist to blow a little cold air onto his still proud and erect head. "He's so cute, isn't he?" Genevieve stuck out her tongue, but pulled up the pants over his crotch and, with a bit of yanking and pulling, managed to fit it over his tight ass and close the button. He's kinda fit, she thought as she stood back up. Let's have some fun.

"Come on then hot shot. You think you're so funny, let's see if you can waddle with me."

The biggest grin plastered itself across the young mans face. "Thank you." he sighed happily, watching the gorgeous police woman go to her knees. "There you go..." he said softly, swaying a little but managing to stay upright. As she grabbed hold of his boxers and pants, Noah thought he felt the tiniest flicker of her fingers against his skin. Ooh. He hummed in appreciation, thinking it was softly, but in his drunken state he might as well have been moaning. Her voice told him to stay steady, but all Noah could think was: she's awfully close to my cock right now...

With his hands behind his back, he realized he'd have nothing to grab onto if he should topple over. Focus! he told himself. And with all his might Noah dragged his focus away from her face near his cock, and put everything on standing up straight. In an attempt to do so, he lifted his eyes to the sky. Studying the absolute darkness around them. There are hardly any stars tonight, he noted with some glee. His boxers and pants where being yanked up. But not before a fresh breath of air brushed against the sensitive skin of his cock. "Ooh. That tickles." Noah shrieked, his focus immediately back on her. "Cute? Yes... manly too." he shivered, his eyes meeting hers for a moment. And then the moment was gone.

As she stood up straight beside him, Noah flashed her a smile. "Thanks so much ma'am, this feels much better..." he nodded. Then she told him to follow, using the strangest word for it. "Waddle?" Noah repeated the word, more to himself than to her. Waddle? He gave it some thought, saying it out loud for himself a few times. Then he chuckled. "You do realize pregnant women waddle, right?" For some reason Noah found this incredibly funny, giving the man a delightful fit of giggles.

Genevieve looked at him expectantly as the guy was digging far into his conscious mind and laughed incredulous as he finally seemed to figure it out.

"Oh, is that so?" She let go of him and walked a few steps ahead of him.

"For some reason I don't think you'll do too well on the catwalk tonight." She turned around and kept on stepping, backwards this time.

"Come on then, show me I'm wrong."


Noah tilted his head to the side. 'Show me I'm wrong', is what she had said. The young man frowned. ”Show you what... I'm confused.” the puzzled look with the mouth hanging half open, probably did nothing to show her he was sobering up. But Noah couldn't manage to keep a straight face. As he looked at her and waited for her to either answer him, or for the answer to magically come to him... Her saying he wouldn't do too well on the catwalk didn't help much either. ”Why would I be on the catwalk?... in case you haven't noticed... I'm kinda hammered...”

Then Noah felt his mind start to wander yet again. The word waddle wouldn't stop spinning around in his head. It conjured up all sorts of images of people and animals practicing the particular way of moving. Ducks waddle. So do pigs, in Noah's opinion. And of course, the pregnant women. They definitely waddle. Waddle, waddle like a ducky...

And suddenly it came to him. ”You want me to show you how good I can waddle?” his face lit up like a cheap Christmas tree. He nodded a few times to confirm to himself that he was right. He had to be right. Right?

Genevieve couldn't contain her laughter. "You're a funny one, aren't ya?" How much did you actually have to drink? Taking another step, she signed with her finger for him to follow her.

"Yes, show me how good you can waddle." Another step taking her further away from him, another step for him to catch up on.

"You can try to walk in a straight line too if that would make more sense to you. But I bet you rival a 9 months pregnant woman in the art of waddling."

She smiled broadly as she explained herself to the foggy mind a few feet away from her. What a dimwit.


At her first comment, the young man nodded with enthusiasm. "Yes ma'am, top of my class." he replied with a loud chuckle. His head did a quick spin, making him feel a bit woozy. His eyes lulled from side to side a few times before Noah moved his shoulders outwards in an attempt to make himself wider. And thus, less likely to fall over. "How much?" he repeated the question to himself. Noah licked his lips and hummed, "I worked a double shift, had about three...four, maybe more drinks before that man came along." he nodded, then yawned once. The alcohol was staring to make him drowsy. "And after he was done, I went back inside to get a few more. So... probably too much."

Taking a step towards her , as he talked. Noah decided to look at the ground to make sure he wouldn't trip over anything. "But I didn't drive. No ma'am, I did not drive. Because that would be a fellooow... no, fella... nah... a bad thing." he nodded like a five year old. And took another step. His raised his eyes to hers and frowned. "You can stop stepping away, I won't follow if you don't want me to..." She seemed to be doing an awfully good job in getting away from him. Thou Noah couldn't figure out why. The young man straightened up, yawning again. "What am I doing here again....?"

He tilted his head to the side and waited for her to answer him. Or for the answers to come to him. Whichever came first. As he gazed around at the stars, the sidewalk and eventually back to the pretty cop. It all came to Noah. "Ooh wait, I remember... I was gonna waddle a straight line. Right?" With a newfound confidence Noah dropped his gaze to the floor and began to walk. One foot in front of the other, can't be that hard...

To the drunken youth it probably seemed like he was doing a great job. But to the sober cop, it would be a rather pathetic sight.

"Good job for not driving." Although she wondered whether the guy would have been able to find his key in the first place, let alone manage to stick it into the lock, he'd made a good decision there to stay on his feet, rather than on wheels.

Genevieve rewarded his semi-cleverness with an honest smile - or at least as honest as she could muster.

"I'm not walking away from you, I'm leading the way. Follow me and you'll be fine." Step by wobbly step, they started off towards her home. It would be the longest and most tedious half a mile she'd ever walked.


Noah nodded, "Alright. Good boy, I am." he'd known it would be the best thing for everyone if he didn't drive. Patting his pocket as best he could, the young man suddenly came to a daunting conclusion. He stopped walking, looked down at the cop and flashed her a goofy grin. "I don't have a car..." A chuckle escaped him.

Then he started walked again, making sure not to fall over his own feet. Or walk into anything. But fresh cuts and bruises to add to the ones he had already accumulated, wasn't something Noah fancied for the morning after. After a long silence he finally said. "I don't even have a license... I don't think."

At first, Genevieve was stumped. Then she just couldn't contain herself and burst out laughing. Leaning against a lamp post, she just let the amusement wash over her, without trying to hide, stop or contain anything.

"Wow. Just... wow," she managed to utter after a few moments. "You really are far out." The officer could only shake her head in disbelief.

"Right, let's get you high and dry. And let's not worry about an imaginary car for now. I could always run some background checks if I was too worried."


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Published: 1 month ago

Posted by: Genevieve Porter

Reply-count: 18

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